Time to Say Goodbye

It is time to say goodbye to Korea.

God, how I've learned! It has been an incredible journey. Rife with pleasure, confusion and pain. And I am so utterly grateful for the experiences I've had. I have discovered parts of the country that have uplifted me and brought me to a higher plane of understanding about humanity, life, culture, food, language...

With each country I immerse myself in, I feel uplifted. It has been a hard journey, traveling around so much, having to start over time after time. But it has been worth it. Because the greatest joy in my life, the most constant joy, has been discovery.

You see, I do not have a home. Sometimes, I feel like I have never had one. I am grateful to have come from a multi-cultural background. My mother, Italian, my father, Haitian. I wouldn't trade it for anything. But with such diversity, comes difficulty. Where do I belong? Who am I? Will I find a place which speaks to me enough to compel me to stay put? Or do I have the bug? Am I destined to travel for the rest of my days?

I do not know the answer. All I can say is that I'm going to keep looking. Perhaps one day I will find that one place. Perhaps one day, I will also find the person who completes the puzzle. Someone who will understand me, or will at least have the patience to try.

There is one thing I can always count on in this world and that is the joy and peace I feel when I travel. That feeling of discovery, that split second of pure agape, that will never let me down. Perhaps I truly am a global warrior, as a stranger once called me.

I have to hope that I can find that place, in my heart, where I can be at peace with this lifestyle, but until then, I must thank those people who have made my life here worth living.

To the many students I've had at YBM. You have taught me so much about Korea. You have patiently and open-mindedly shown me what family really means. The difficulties and duties involved, the precious link to one's family that can never be erased. You have shown me your conservative sides, yes, but also that inner part of you that wants to fly away for a day and do what it is your heart truly desires. Thank you for showing me that.

And so with that, I thank those who have opened their hearts to me more than the average Korean would. Thank you to Soo Hyong, who gave me my first gift: a bookmark to thank me for teaching; thank you to Mi Hwa who helped me discover Gyongbokgung palace and see how people once lived; thank you to K Young, who wrote me an adorable note thanking me for teaching him; thank you to Jae Woo who gave me a New year's card and another one apologizing to me for asking (cheekily) why I wore heels when I was already tall (I responded by telling him that it was vanity); to David for giving me flowers to thank me for teaching him (it lifted my spirits and he'll never know how much); to BongHwan with whom I share an uncertainty about the future, I loved our conversations on what would become of us in the future. I hope you follow the dream that comes to you; thank you to PaulKim who bought me an electronic dictionary so that I could communicate better in Korean; thank you to Harry who's words, gifts and spirit uplifted me; thank you to Kerry, who in his infinite good humor and confusion, alsways brought a smile to my face; to Jude and Bill, willing to accompany me on strange outings on the town to show me more of Korean culture (you guys rock!);to Drago, with a name that befits his dragon-like roar of a voice, always present and heard and seen with a wit to accompany his strength (congratulations on your nuptials).

And to the multitude of other students who gave me gifts along the way: vitamin C to help me get over my fatigue, drinks and sweets to thank me for just being me. And for all the others who told me that I was the best teacher they had ever had, a boost for the morale that I will never forget.

Bill and Jude

And among those students are Neo and Peter, two really cool cats who took a risk on a foreigner and agreed to accompany me on a weekend trip to Andong, not knowing how things would pan out. They helped distract me from the personal stresses I've been dealing with, and brought forth an energy and eagerness for discovery that I found I enjoyed just as much as if I had been alone. Most times I don't like to travel with others because I feel restricted by compromise, but not with them. They were awesome and I will hold that weekend close to my heart. They gave without expecting anything in return. As a result, I too, gave and it was well worth it. I laughed all weekend. Thanks guys for that.

Neo and Peter

And to MinJong aka Skitsch, who started off as my student and bloomed into a friend. An artist in her own right who can express herself, perfectly, in three languages: Korean, English and through the art of drawing. She will always hold a space in my heart. She who is pure and real and pushes forth regardless of the obstacles she is faced with.

MinJong

To Son Mi, my former Korean teacher/friend/taekwondo partner/guide who invited me into her family's world. She showed me what Chuseok was really about and in her unique and quirky world and way, showed me that is was possible to blend tradition and modernity into one person. She will be remembered with fondness and perplexion (love, regardless!).

Son Mi

To my Sabomnim, my Taekwondo Master, DuYong , someone who accepted to teach me for free. He is a good man, sweet, patient and funny. It was a good year of work and though I didn't get to the black belt, I got to brown, two belts away. Perhaps one day I will complete that training and reach that coveted black. Thank you.

Me, DuYong and Latisha, another student.

To Seung Hyon, who adopted me after Jong In and Seung Ah left YBM Guro. I could count on her to help me out in times of need. Her quirky personality, brisk at times, relaxed and playful at others, constantly confused me, but I enjoyed every minute. Thanks for letting me get to know you!

Seung Hyon

To Todd, a former co-worker who coaxed me out on several nights on the town, who introduced me to the wine club and who always found something to love. He will be remembered with a smile and though he is gone from this world, he made a mark on our lives here at Guro and I'll never forget him.

Todd

To Hayden, the founder of the Gangnam wine club, an Aussie in all his glory, with the heart of a poet. He is the kind of man I would want to have. Honest, sometimes harsh in his perspectives, but always caring and someone who gave me his time and lent me his ear when I was in the throes of despair. I wish you all the luck in the world to achieve all you have worked towards.

Hayden

And to Sewon, Hayden's significant other. I didn't get a chance to spend much time with her, but every time I did, I learned something: about peace, joy, innocence and the possibility that happiness is possible. Thank you for those lessons.

Sewon

To John, a friend that I almost didn't get to know. I'm glad I let him into my life. He filled it with sarcasm, humor and the infinite gift for gab. He allowed me to enjoy my last couple months at YBM without slitting my throat. Instead, we did the Korean Times crossword puzzles and had morning coffee at Belita, smoking like two chimneys during Christmas time.

John

To Keith, a recent friend who impressed me with conversations that made my mind work again. A newcomer to Korea, I hope that he will enjoy it as much as I have. That he will take the good and remember those and leave this beautiful and perplexing country one day, all that much richer for the experience.

Keith

To Steve, the consummate jokester and the one friend I knew before arriving here. He, who could always diffuse a tense moment, bring laughter to the Korean classes and imbibe me with impressions of Korea that would have taken longer to figure out on my own. He, who found his place here and who has a reason to stay. Thank you for allowing this girl to partake of your favorite Seoul spots, experience things by your side, and thank you for listening to me bitch from time to time.

Steve

To Seung-Ah and Jong-In, my two closest girlfriends here. Women who have always had my back. True friends that I could never have asked more from.

Seung-Ah who risked her sanity and accompanied me on my trip to Jeju Island last year; a moment that solidified our relationship. I like to call her my twin because we are born on the same day. She is the more realistic and grounded side of me. We have shared moments of truth that I cannot and would not want to forget.

Seung-Ah

And Jong-In, one of the only people in this world who has the capability of being completely open. Someone who was able to listen to all my mistakes, all my shortcomings, all of my darkness and never judge. She who could allow me to say and do anything, and I knew that she would love me regardless. These are friendships that you must always hold close to your heart. It is not everyday that you can experience that kind of purity. That kind of love.

Jong-In

And to all those other people who cannot be named because there are too many to count and too many of you whose names I don't know. You have all helped me make it here and have brought kindness to a girl who needed it from time to time; from the strangers who lent me their umbrellas on rainy days, to those people who took the time to try to understand me speak in Korean and smiled the whole way through. Thank you.

A kitchy portrait of my friends from YBM! It was Seung Ah's idea. I swear!

Thank you to you all. You have made this trip worth taking. I will cherish the memories and hold them close to my heart. Perhaps one day, my wanderings will take me back to Seoul and we can recapture some of the joys we once experienced.

This draws to an end my Korea blog. I hope that it has been somewhat of a journey for you, too. I could have written so much more and yet I let laziness, difficulty and distraction get in the way. I hope to start a new blog in the not too distant future.

I am a global warrior, it's time to write about other places, other things, other food, other experiences. I hope you will take that journey with me too.

Lots of love,

L